All is not lost

My reason to smile is because there's a shinning God with me.
To those non believers, well believe now. That there is God.
Believe that He has saved me again again. Although my problems got worst and the plan finally turned out the worst case scenario i expected - that i cant do my subject overseas meaning i have to delay my graduation for another half a year and my plans for Japan have been all disrupted.

But do you see me crying and feeling terrible about my mistakes?
Sure, I do feel that. YES YES i went through it-  Because i am human, it is natural to dwell in the past where you made your mistakes.
But why i said I have been saved is not because my problems are fixed....but because i am able to smile times like this. Although it hurts but the strength and faith to believe that this is all God's will and plan for me. And to trust everything entirely to his Hands is one of the most amazing experience you can have in life.
Even though your plans are all turned upside down, but strangely to feel this calmity and peace in you......
that is the work of God, children!!!

Behold the Christ is right in front of you. So dont push him away dont ignore him anymore.
Although i have little knowledge about God, because i dont go to Sunday School or understand the bible at all, but i have many many valuable experiences with God together....
All the good and the bad always bring me closer to him each time.

For those that are hurting, please leave everything to the God.
You know He knows what's best for you right? Even if you can't see whats good for you>
I believe God will deliver us all, as he will never go back on His words and promises.
Just hang in there, holding to God's hand and all will be fine.

The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”

I am crying not because i am afraid. But because there is a great Savior by my side.

TO those of you that are hurting.
Here are some that stuff i read online that i found really meaningful

C) Where is God when we hurt? Where is He when sleep wont come?
* Where is He when we wake in a hospital bed with pain that wont stop?
* Let me tell you ... He’s right here! * v.2 ... v.3 ... v.21 ... v.23 ... “The Lord was with him.”
D) When you hurt, God hurts with you!
* When no one listens to you, God listens to you!
* When you wipe away tears of loneliness, or frustration, or anguish ... In heaven there’s a pierced
hand approaching a heavenly face wiping a tear!
* Sometimes storms of life come to teach us that God is in control, and that we must lean on Him
and learn to be thankful for the richness of His blessings to us!
E) We should serve God even if there is darkness surrounding our life!
* We should serve God even if we don’t understand what’s happening!
* We should serve God even when the circumstances of our life don’t make sense!
* Because He is worthy of praise ... because He is God!
F) One more thing ... Nothing is louder than the silence of our God and Father!
* All I can say is ... We cannot interpret His silence as a lack of love!
* Where is God when everything goes wrong? * HE’S RIGHT HERE WITH US!
-Taken from : sermoncentral

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. —Psalm 34:17-18
Have you ever felt like nothing in your world was going right? When my kids were growing up, I used to read them one of their favorite books, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. You might be familiar with this story about a boy who experiences the absolute worst day of his life. We all have experienced troubles and know the feeling of having a "crushed spirit."
When circumstances are difficult, all too often this affects our attitude towards God and can also inhibit our worship. After all, why should we worship when it seems like life is falling apart at the seams?
The Psalmist gives us three profound reasons why we can worship the LORD even in the midst of the deepest valleys.
We can worship because He hears us. This does not mean He merely hears our cry, but this word implies action. God is so unlike us; when He hears, He acts. And He acts immediately! He does not sit idly by, but intervenes in even the most desperate situation.
We can worship in the midst of trials because we know the Lord promises to deliver us. Keep in mind, this word deliver does not mean that He will remove us from our difficulty. Isn’t it true that at times we cry out to the Lord but it seems as though our situation doesn’t change? Do not mistake unchanging circumstances for God’s lack of deliverance. His promise to deliver us is made evident in the way He sustains believers even through the hardest times.
Finally, when everything goes wrong, we can worship Him because the Lord is close to us. He is not a distant, uninvolved, uninterested God, but a loving Savior whose arms reach out to us in the midst of our brokenness.
Maybe you are in the midst of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, month, or even year. Maybe you resonate with the notion that in the midst of a valley, it’s hard to worship. Take some time today to thank God that He hears our cries, He promises to deliver us, and we can rest assured that He remains close to us even in our darkest moments.—Ron Zappia
Father, thank You for being a personal God who is involved in my life. Thank You for hearing my cries. I want to worship You in the midst of this difficult time. Help me to see that Your promise to deliver me from trouble is Your promise to see me through till the end. Thank You for being near to me, especially when I am hurting the most.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Taken out from: http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/walk-in-the-word/read/devotionals/a-weekly-walk/when-everything-goes-wrong-33141.html

So what does it mean when we are obeying God, but everything seems to be going wrong? James put it this way, “Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy” (James 1:2 NLT).

Joy? What is he nuts? No, James continues, “For when you faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow, for when your endurance if fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything” (James 1:3-4 NLT). God has initiated a spiritual growth-training program that will not only grow our character or “image of Christ”, and will deepen our understanding of him.

Peter wrote, “These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It’s being tested as fire tests and purifies gold, and you faith is more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (1 Peter 1:7 NLT).

When God is molding you and shaping you into the image of Jesus, it will be painful, but the end result is the ability to love the Lord with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. The proverbs say, “My child, don’t ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don’t be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights” (Proverbs 3:11-12 NLT).

Discipline is the evidence of love, if God did not discipline you, then we could never grow. If God didn’t love you, he would not correct you, but leave you to your own ways. In these trials, the Lord is preparing you for service, which is more than you can imagine. Think of all the great men and women of the Bible, they all suffered through difficult circumstances, but in the end, their sights and hope was set directly on God Almighty, who carried them through and completed their purpose and they arrived safely to their destination.

Taken from: http://4everhischild-tathorpe.blogspot.jp/2009/11/when-everything-goes-wrong.html

To my dearest childhood friend

Your troubles become mine.
Your kind words....
Pierced through my heart like a sharp knife
I dont deserve any of your kindness...
But it was my mistake to lead you into this.
What can i do to ease your pain instead?
If i can lend you my shoulder i would...
right now.... i jsut want you to be happy
im sorry for always being so selfish..
always wanting you just here.

Only God can save me now

Although it is impossible. Lord i am still hanging on, looking up at You
so please dont desert me; and lead me to Your light.
Please.

I screwed up so much

._.
Nipon ni mou ikanainda.
Iya. Ikenainda.
T^T Due to my own carelesness of the subjects etc SILS etc.
IM SO STUPID.
but God if this is your will; I will follow it. And accept it gratefully.
Thank youu.

RACH'S 21ST

WOOOTSS! ON THIS 37DEG DAY. WE SHALL PARTAY
@__@ Its gonna be so hot T____________T
SCH! Why does it seem that everytime when its you; i either go insane (i.e lost everything about my values) or i just dont sleep at all. Its both actually ;A; Now i only had 3 hours of sleep. Your soft snores can still be heard right now. -_- wake up already!!!!! But ill let it slide; we are -sort of- even this time :@  My eyes feels like it going to crack. From the sleep deprivation! How will i wear contacts later? Im so hungry man, but i have to wait till 2?
An ordinary silly talking to just another idiot. GG

The awesome moment when you see him calling you on skype at 5.40am

THIS IS INSANE. NO TIME LAYAN HIM. IM GOING TO SLEEP D: i need my own sleep. crap ive got a 21st party today tooo akhsdlkasdhlakshdas :((

Twins huh!

I am so excited to meet them ^^
Soon!!!!! Although im mixed with nervousness.
I am still excited to meet my sisters! *grins*
(the dream of having a sister is finally coming true huh? *giggles* I will be a big sis now!!!)
from now on, i will be blogging at a new blog! Lets not miss out a single thing.

You are someone i wish not to forget

-_-

Im certainly am very disorganized.
-_-
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February 14th

Just want to say ;
Thank you for spending that day with me :)
When you wrapped your strong arms around me that day, i knew it will be okay.
No matter how stupid i am. I am happy.
For that moment to last, i was praying hard.
But time has to go on right.
Thank you dearest.

Akira

OMG who would have thought !
Akira omg i love your voice and everything.
hes so pretty in upturn2011 *Q*
I will not thnk of what has already been done

The second best brother

 i may not know(this guy) i but i know a krissy is a beautiful girl and a girl as beautiful as you can get any guy she wants k? He  has a cute face but if he's only selfish and mean there are plenty of guys out there who would treat you right!

Thanks nong :) U must be the best brother (after my real brother although he'll never say such things to me) ever!! Ill keep it in mind. I wont be that foolish again. ._. On the other hand, tomorrow is V. day
OH dear *facepalms*

Dear Blogger

Theres so much about myself that i know.
The person that i am, this person that i hate....
Because of this person i am. i dont think im good with making friends.
My expectation of friends somehow are never met
I remembered saying that i wont compare myself to anyone.
Especially i wont subject myself to this silly inferiority complex shit.
But no matter how you look at it. clearly.... its different.
Even you, i believed your words. When you said the three letter word sealed with a kiss.
You fkn lied to me too .
I never expected anyone to really like someone like me anyway. Not even friends. or family
Even my own family i suspect. did not want me as their family.
Because im a person that can only live alone. Im suited to be alone.
Plus you can never like this insecure person i am
I am just like this.
You cant accept it either.

If i can become your strength , i will become it.

An important part of Kuri that has somewhat died is here today.
The feelings to save a person
Not exactly save but. The feelings of wanting to be a reason why a person smiles.
Being the person that can give happiness to someone. anyone. especially those that are in need of it.
Because i am uncapable of doing so, i can only hope to give you all happiness.
Im not a very happy person myself, so i doubt i cant even emit any positive aura to you guuys.

Today i met a boy. The boys seems to be going through what seems somewhat normal of those his age. But his may be a little more serious. I dont know how to help this kid but.... i hope i can help in some way. But now i fear what if.. i made the wrong mistake. What if..... that kid expects me to be the person he can always rely on.... Im not that great of a person.
First of all, i am selfish.
I would advice anyone to stay away from me
Pretty hypocritical huh?
Well im that hypocrite bbbbbtttthhh.

:]

goodnight.
time for supper with a couple of bros and sis